July 25, 2021 at 5:31 pm #271geektalkKeymaster
THE TEELA SHOW: Masters of the Universe Revelation Review!
Kevin Smith’s Masters of the Universe: Revelation is here, and it’s pretty much exactly what we were told it was a year and a half ago — The Teela Show. He-Man is BARELY in the show at all. But WORSE than that, it’s a show that seems to delight in “subverting expectations” like The Last Jedi before it. Almost all of the male characters are sidelined, weakened or killed off so Teela, Andra and Evil-Lyn can take center stage. And it will most likely split the He-Man fandom right down the middle like The Last Jedi before it. Will Mattel’s toy sales suffer for it?
welcome back to clownfishtv this is neoni am here withgeeky sparkles hello and it’s tila’s bigdayoh my god tila’s big day so we’re gonnatalk about masters of the universerevelation ii did not have any desire to see itbut we got up extra early this morningto watch it and get out of the waybecause i felt like we had to have acodato this whole situation right now i andfull disclosurei only saw like maybe about half of theshowbecause i had to be somewhere that’s whywe got extra early glad to leavebut neon watched the entire thing and iwas kept updated with his comments theway through i should pull up to the oneson the phone as you as yousent them yeah i was commenting ontwitter twitter you’re doing live inreal timei was doing it real time yeah i was so ii havei have thoughts i have thoughts thereare plenty of spoilersin this video if you have not seen theshow and you don’t want spoilersdon’t watch the video uh apparently youknowwe were spoiling the show a year and ahalf ago andyeah we just didn’t know it we yeah wewere told we were going to be like ihope this isn’t trueand then yeah and then what god gets methere was a clip they get there playingfrom him i guess he was trying to dodamage controluh the night before you know it was athursday night or something or wednesdaynight wednesday after theafter the reviews came out the stufflike that and he was going and there wassomebody on the internet and they werelike you need to be a fan you know to bea fan because in 1981and i’m like dude well first of all myson was like having a stroke because helooked like a totalanyway dude you’re working on a showokay that you’re supposed to know allthis about and you’re you’re supposed totellwell if you’re a real fan you’d knowtila was in every episode and all thisother stuff you’re supposed to havewatched it was supposed to have dallasresearch on ityeah what no wasn’t 1981. yes the comicsand like the toys and stuff came outearlierbut you’d know that it wasn’t 1981 thatit came outum and you’re having a meltdown becauseyou don’t people like don’t feel likepeople calling you a liar he’s like idon’t know it’s because my 51 year oldbrainyou don’t like that right kind of sucksright well we made it wellneon made a tweet in passing and itwasn’t even a video it was just i hopethis isn’t trueand you came down and [ __ ] upon us themedia and everybody else you knowwe’re calling us names and [ __ ] upon usall these people are calling us liarson youtube in different places we’relike whatever whatever and we keptsaying the whole time well i still hopeit’s good i hope he’s right we’re wrongand it’s goodwe still kept giving you the benefit ofdoubt even though you were an [ __ ]and then you would bring it up back upyou just lived like this last monthseveral times before it even came outyou brought the tweets again just forattention for yourselfto once again for no reason at all bringit up to [ __ ] on it againand now we see you lied you lied tolodge liedit sucks people call you a liar but youactually were oneyeah so we’re gonna talk about thatthose spoilers yeah they werethey were uh uh pretty accurate ourinsider information was pretty accurateum again please subscribe to the channelif you haven’t done so already we’re at209 000 subs thank you for the supportuh yeah so i’m going to try to beobjective i’m going to try to saya couple of nice things about it yeah wewant to be fair yeah before i rip thisthing to shreds but yeah there’s goingto be a lot more ripping than there’sgoing to be complimenting i just want topoint out the audience scorekeep an eye on the audience score thisis going to change this is going to dropyeah don’t blame the uh well i don’tknow unless they artificially inflate itbecauserotten tomatoes is super easy to cheatuh the the credit scoreit’s the same place as you’d normallyexpect they’re the ones that kiss assthey’re the ones that like the last jediand if you like the last jedi and youweren’t a fan of something and you cameinto it like people withlike less jedi you’re probably gonnalove this because it’s the last jedi 2.0yeah i want to tell you that that thatis that’s the best comparisonand it’s going to be as divisive as lastjedi and i’m going to be honestmattel if you’re listening and i knowsometimes you do listeni think your toy sales are going toreflectthis division i really do the hell whydid what what were you thinkingi don’t i don’t think they were i thinkthey were just like we get a show onnetflix hot damnyeah i i don’t know i mean we’ll talkabout it as we go through it i mean nowwe haven’t seen the second half yetwe’ll tell you our thoughts on thatin a little bit from being fair but whatdid you want to say that was good itit looked nice yeah it is a wellanimated show um it isof course it was going to be we havesaid since day onewith powerhouse animation doing theanimation it was gonna bea good looking show regardless of thecontenti could say the same thing about thelast jedi the last jediwas a beautiful film there were scenesthat were good the composition was goodryan johnson does have a good eye forcinematography and composition they havegood eyes for superficial things butshitty eyes for storytellingthat being said yeah when you peel backthe layers it’s like oh godnow another prop i will that’s notreally propif this had if this had beenthe third season of a rebootwhere we clearly had a baseline of thehe-man versus skeletorsaga instead of just a quick recapi think they had a recap it wasn’t evenregards so by the way there’s masters ofthe universe and here’s some really cooltoy art and goyeah they do this intro thing where theydo give toy art and it look the introlooks really awesome i’ll give them thatthe intro is cool yeah and then you knowokay so again these are my thoughtsgoing into it if this had been the thirdif this had been a rebootif this had been the third season not asequel it’s definitely not a sequel thati gotta getright out right out of that freakinggateless ripped the bandit they don’tfanfic of what they thought would happenafter the original showand the comic and the other because theythey throw everything into it by peoplethatclearly didn’t pay a lot of attention toany of that material therethere is a lot of fan service but i haveto wonder if this wasn’tmattel throwing stuff into all the fanserversall a lot of it’s very superficialthings yeah like oh lookthose these ships like the toys andstuff like that things you’d expectum but they’re not like anything that’sreally really deep i don’t thinkis there not really i mean pre-terniathey get pre-ternia in there uh in avery different way that would have beeninthe toy line now pre-eternia was theywere going to do a powers of grace goldlineafter school yeah after well okaygod right out of the gate right out ofthe gate so they were going to do a lineafterwards they were gonna have hero whowas a uha predecessor to he-man and eldor andthey did eventually make figures superseven made figures of these unproducedprototypesand they do spend almost an entireepisodein preternia which was kind of coolbecause like well we never got tosee this so it’s a kind of a neat whatifand we get some other characters that’sa that’s a plus you have a complimenttherewe get some other characters that neverreally got a lot of screen time or neverhad any screen time in the cartoonuh you know we get scareglow gets agood amount of screen time but they kindof changed that toowell there’s all there’s always been adebate in the fandom if scareglow wasactually the ghost of skeletor becausethat’s what his bio was or if he wasa separate character a ghost who workedfor skeletorand this one they basically make it outyeah he wasskeletor like the red skull isthat doesn’t even make sense when yousee the last episode noit’s yeah there again there’s some nicefan service in therei always like scarecrow by the wayscarecrow is pretty cool the toy that’scoming out does look badass i will givethem that the toys look good the toyslook really good i’ll give them thatmattel’s toys look goodthey do look good there’s a reason theyled with the he-man skeletorskele god you know moss man like whatthe wait we’re gonna talk about thathere justyeah just buckle up oh god okay grabyour asses here it comesso right out of the gate it is veryclear this is about deconstructingmasters of the universe lorddeconstructing he-man relegating he-manand the lord to the back burner andactually making it problematicright out of the effing gate we learncastle grayskull is a lie it doesn’teven really existright it’s like a hologram protectingthe uh whatever they call it thecouncilwelder castle crystal castle muchprettier lookingdid he man grabbing his ears and go onshowtime sorceresspretty much it was all a lie so thatlike is the wholethe whole theme of this show and you canyou can’t walk this back even if theybringwe’ll talk about human if they bringhe-man back you can’t walk it backbecause you’ve proveneverything is a lie it’s so cynical thisis such a cynical takeon he-man someone who hates the showwould do yes i’m sorryi’m gonna be honest with you it’s likewhat happened last jedi and the ohand with star wars somebody who lovedluke skywalker loved the characters andloved the classic showwouldn’t have made that film exactlysame thing here it’s the exact samething and you know that battle thingthat everybody’s going nuts for in thetrailer and we saidthat’s probably just the first episodeit wasn’t even the whole first episodeit was a few minutesof the first episode you saw almost thatentire battlein the trailer and and the biggest kickin the ballsis we don’t even see more than what aminute or two ofactual he-man yeah because the he-man inthe very beginningof the first episode is actually fakerit’s not actually he-manum so we get faker we get evil he-mantoowe get evil he-man but we don’t actuallyseethe real deal actual he-man for morethan maybe two minutestops um then he becomes a smearoh god i’ll talk about that sookay there have been a lot of plot linesit and again i won’t be very clearthey sold this as being a sequel to theoriginal show that wasright if they had never done that well inoticed mark hamill tried to sayit wasn’t really a sequel i know hetried to clarify thatbut all the outlets media outlets andthe what’s that kevin smith and stuffthey’re like oh it’s a sequel it’s acontinuationit is not it is it’s a fanfic of whatone person’s version ofyou know yeah it is cobbled togetherthere are pieces from feminist versionthere are pieces from the comics thereare p pieces from the toylore their pieces from other media thethe story books and stuff like thatthere there are pieces from filmationbut there are so many if you go intothis expectinga direct sequel to the filmation showyou’re going to findso many things that completelycontradictthe filmation series this is not asequel to tofilmation this is a sequel not even asequel aoh what the [ __ ] fanfic of all thedifferent masters of the universe here’sthe thing if they were just going to dothis then they should have just greenlita couple seasons andrebooted yes and made it its own thingyes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yesyesit’s still [ __ ] what they what they’redoing here with but it’s at the tilashowum they or they could have just done ashow about tila but actually made itlike actual tilabecause i’m gonna tell you right nowsarah michelle gellar and i hope youhear this your acting suckedi mean what do i expect you’re actingalways suck but your voice acting reallysuckslike that does not sound like tila atall it’s more like a wine momlike oh my god like he made me mad likeuhit’s it’s not as like i mean there’ssome good voice acting that’s not one ofthemshe’s not tila i mean no she is not thischaracteris not tila i mean for all they talkabout you know tila was trying tothis character is a whiner yeah she’sintounlikable she’s a [ __ ] she’s anunlikable [ __ ] i mean tila was alwayskind of badass but she was still likableand importantyou’re like yeah she was every episodeyeah the real teal it was and the realtila was likeable and liberalyou wanted to root for her and she wasfun this one’s a whiny [ __ ]you didn’t tell me literally she findsout he’s adam as he diesokay and then she’s so ass mad about itthat she decides she’s gonna be thecaptain of the garden she’s going towalk away fromeveryone because they all lied to herbecause they didn’t tell herdude sacrificed himself to save her assand everybody elseand then she acts like a whiny littleentitled [ __ ]yeah it’s not it’s not tila so i meanthis is i you know say hey this isteala’s big day this is not tila um thisis not any incarnation of teala evenlook at 2002 serieslooking at the comics get the haircutlooking at the haircuti am glad they changed her designbecause this characteris not tila you don’t have faker this islike you know whatever you call tilafake tila take heryeah take her there you go take her thisis take her this isn’t even tilaand she has such a chip on her showshe’s such a little [ __ ] you just wanta slapper she’s not unlikableno she’s like what the hell you knowrealty like yeahtila didn’t take [ __ ] and tila foughtback and tila was always an importantcharacterbut tila you know she wasn’t selfish noshe was nevera complete ass cow like this tila is shewasn’t enjoying the pointand the voice acting was betterespecially in a 2002 showgeller sucks um there are somecharacters the voice acting is reallygood like i think evelyn was pretty goodshe was she wasn’t badsorceress wasn’t too bad man arms wasvery good man arms are good there’s alot of characters that do very well withthe voice actuallywhat the hell is up with merman he needshis glug glug glue he’s not doing he’sjust like rojoman he’s not even doing that you knowhey man he always didall i hear what and it’s right after theold show and merman suddenly had talkingvoice lessons yeah yeah it’s like donaldduck when donaldduck becomes don cheadle yeah all of asudden it’s like well what the hellhappened here i mean it was funnybecause that was supposed to be a comedybut this is like why is mermancompletelyunderstandable now um yeahokay so let’s let’s wind it back firstepisode which youdid see i saw the first couple episodesyes lots of story lines over the yearsvarious incarnations of this show thethe one consistentis the sorceress isn’t stupidthe sorceress isn’t dumb this sorceressin this incarnation of masters of theuniverseis really freaking stupid literallyskeletor and evil lynn put a littlemustache on you but halloween costumesput halloween costumes on like we’retalking batman forever styleand they walk in the front door ofcastle grayskullthey look like the real people but youknow she doesn’t send some things offheresquid king was like i’m not skeletor i’mskele daveyeah like like put a little mustache onand that’s itthey walk in the [ __ ] front door ofcastleskull and she’s so dumb she doesn’t seeita sorceress was always five steps aheadof everybody else she just couldn’treally do anythingbecause powerful character and he-manmatches in the masters of the universewas the sorceress sorceressshe knew she knew what the hell was upand you know whathere’s a little secret you might nothave known it’s a womani’m not right yeah unlike what they wantto tell you now where women were keptdown and they were always sidecharactersthe most powerful character was a womanoh stop making sense um you know who ranthis [ __ ] showthree menso yeah so skeletor evil limb walk inthe front doorum and then it turns out that castlegrayskull is a lieit’s a freaking hologram and that thatall of eternity’s magic is in a ball inthe basementand now now everybody’s into tech it’sthat turns into she-ra and theprincesses of poweryeah and then okay so so this happens wehavethey did they did not learn theirlessons no they didn’t um adamadam gets killed he man gets killed yeahthat’s a smear he he sacrificespoof i said he’s a smear he sacrificeshimselfand then she cringer loses his pa backit loses power becomes cringer and shesees that then she realizes that he’sadamhe turns to adam and then they did thathe’s gone and there’s literally a bigsmear on the ground and that’s adam andthey keep looking at thesmear like he’s a smear right so he’ssmeared on the groundand then she instead of being like oh mygod i lost my best friend no she’s madbecause he didn’t tell her he was he-manyour best friend’s deadoh i forgot apparently they like thisincineration gagand i’m sorry we did it again orcocreates a giant magnifying glass andaccidentally cooks a nest full of birdswhy would you do such a thing and theypoofwe’ll talk about orko because that thatleak was 100 accurate and it was somanipulative and cruel how how it wasdonei love how you we’ll talk about a bitbut i love how you had to meet out whatit was like watching and i was like ohmy godyeah so okay adam’s gone the magic’sgoneuh tila they they go tell king randornow marlena we know from the originalseries hadsome some inkling but here she flat outno she fly out knowsyou know she’s like oh my god you knowand randor is like so stupid onerandor is in likeable [ __ ] he’s likedude that’s pridefather then he goes that’s pridefatherly pride they got the pride inthere because you know she’s a lesbiannowand and then he’s like you know i wish icould have some of that fatherly prideoh he’s a complete asshat oh he is imean basically most of the men in theshowthe most the heroes and even the goodguys they turn intoyou know pussify five of them killedthem or they’re [ __ ] yeah prettymuch i mean i’m just gonna tell youstraight up the the show like gracerandolph said i will agree with her onthissheer was kind of the show everybodywatched both i mean let’s be honest ieverybody watched both shows but theykind of made shira to be more for theyou knowfemale focused girl focused and heliumis clearly moremale focused and for the boys eventhough everybody watched them both andyou had both so you could be like oh ican watcheverybody um now the girls gotthe girls twitter tumblr got shira backand got for the girls and themale feminists and now we have he-manbut it’s not he-man it’s masters of theuniverse because it’s tila showand they they ruin all the malecharacters the show that was for guysand they’re gonna come into it wantingto see what they knew poofyeah we we knew it’s estrogen it’s anetflix showcurrent year the 80s aestheticthe ip was a trojan horse just like thetrojan horse in the first episodeand you see it coming a mile away that’sexactlywhat happened here it was a trojan horseto tell the story about thesethese powerful women who lost the men intheir lives but they’re gonna they’regonna make do they’re gonnabecome their true selves now becausethey’re not held down i forgot tomention moss manyeah moss man shows up well he shows upat the end again too but he’s deadmossman shows up for likelike 30 seconds and gets fried yeah andthey have uh the guy who used to do thevoice of uhyeah yeah they have him doing moss mannow the toys that came outat launch is he-man skeletoruh moss man and what was the other onethere was one moreskeleton evil lit moss man they had mossman come outyeah they kill moss man he gets friedbefore they they turn him into ainto like a pile of cinders before theydo that to adamthey kill moss man right from thebeginning yeah because we can’twe can’t have moss man well he’s in itagain but he’s dead was that becausepeople were mad because they didn’t wantto buy them because they smelled likeyou know pineapple pine fresh airfreshener so they just killed them all idon’t know you can hang them in your carthe new ones don’t smell like pine andthat’s a missed opportunitystink wars ant for all of 10 seconds ohand they kick his ass too because wellthey would he stink ornow so you didn’t like some of the jokessome of the jokes i feltdid some of them i felt did feel veryhumanto me um but there were some that didn’tand they make some pervy jokes in theretooyeah i was look the whole thing i’mgonna tell you as asyou know somebody who grew up watchingthe show and who loved that show and the2002 show andthis did not feel like any incarnationof masters of the universe and peoplewere gonna be like ohjust because we’re moving in the news itcould have been okayand gave a backstory and led up to thisand then set it up for this not said itwas right after the original showbecause it’s it’s not it’s not it’scompletely different the characters arenot themselvesking randor is an unlikable [ __ ] hebanishes duncanfor lying to him just so flippantly i’mlike these guys werelike bros yeah oh yeah he banishedeverybody yeah you knowand then he doesn’t make any sense andlike tila you know is a [ __ ] and she’sgot bigger boyskevin smith yeah you know so and thenthen it turns into like mad max meetsthe borgfor no reason we’ve got this whole plotline the whole second episodeis this whole plot line about triclopstaking over with a techno cult thatdoesn’tit’s like a televangelist type yeah itdoesn’t feelanything like anything masters of theuniverse at alli mean nothing like this is so farremoved and again you know it’s henryrollins does thethe voice of triclops that’s all i canhear is henry rollinsand again going back to the originalseries triclops andand uh you know trap jaw were prettydumb characters now they made themmuch smarter in the yeah well trap jawtheythey off right off oh he comes backthough oh he wasn’t dead they rebuiltyeahbecause he’s a bad guy oh yeah okay yeahthank you they make sure that he got hegot a saw blade to the headbut there’s like body horror and [ __ ]going on and again it doesn’t like rightout of the gate it becomes this likeattorney becomes this freakingdystopian wasteland and it’s all abouttech it was very she-rayeah it was very sheer even sort ofdesigns kind of looked likeyeah it was very i’m like because thatwent over so so well for youand i understand you know he-man and youknow that whole look has always been across betweenyou know fantasy barbarian and and techbut they go all the way on tech withoutmagic being thereagain fine i guess that would be kind ofa plot point butit didn’t feel anything like masters ofthese and you have to know this turnedher back on magic completely and thenuh yeah and men um and you know it hateseveryone andand she is her and she goes this is my iwant to live a life of truthi’m like well this show is like a lifeof [ __ ] but yes it’s very very veryvery heavily implied that her and wasandra have a thing going on very heavilyandrew is the smartest she’s theengineershe’s the brains she’s whatever ofcourseum because we know we had anotherredhead characters we had to make itblack obviouslyi’m surprised it left tila be whiteanother to be fair anothergirl loves the science yeah i love thestuff yeah i like girls like science ilikescience but i just think they alwayshave to push it just so you know she’ssmarter than everyoneand it’s very heavily implied thatthey’re a coupleand then at that point it just kind ofdrags on it becomes likeone episode dragged out over like threeepisodes they gofind the tabs of the power sword whichagain that came from the toy lineoriginally it was skeletor and he-manboth had half put together that’s howyou open cancel grace goalagain that’s kind of yeah that’sactually from kind of a neat call backbut alsolike again don’t call this the filmationshow because every neat thing they havethat calls back that’s a little fanreference there’s like there’s like 10other things that are [ __ ] and it’s likeandthen they spend the whole time killingall the characterswhat they love they have left they [ __ ]on the characters sometimes they killthe characters and [ __ ] on thecharactersso let’s talk about orko so orcoyeah he died jesus said but before thatkevin smith said he does not he does notlike orco and 75 percent of people wetalked to in our thing did not like workoutfocus groups yeah and people on theinternet like lost their [ __ ] becauselike how could you not like orcoum and you highly me misrepresentedmattel who didn’t like how many peopledid not like orcoand then he’s been if you saw the videoeverybody’s talked about it he wastalking about what happens to orca whichi’ll let you talk about a minute and hegettingly laughs and he’s like oh sowe’re gonnaeverybody hated him so we’re gonna makeeverybody love him and then we’re gonnakill himyou know and that’s exactly well iwouldn’t think everybody loved him theystill made him kind of a punk asswhatever but continue yeah so orcodoesn’t just die heroically we knoworco’ssick because magic has disappeared frometerniaso he’s you’re making references weakand sick he’s already weak and sickand right from the beginning hispersonality is i know i’m going to dieand i didn’t do i didn’t do right bypeople andi’m like it’s like watching a sick kidwith cancerget hit by a bus because you know it’salready bad you know the poor kid isalready going through a lot and is gonnadiebut you just made it so much worse yeahlike it was pathetic it wasn’t likeorco’slikable all of a sudden it was like orcois justsad he’s just a sad pathetic characterand his whole reason for being in thisshow is to kill him off because look howedgy i am i killed orko yeah hebasically said he said i’m gonna makehim really likable so you feel bad forhimand then we’re gonna kill him and theyspend a lot of time you know they makehis grave and theythey put some you know in pruternia andthey put a little o on it and evelyneven puts her helmet by his grave andand uh they make the grave look like umadam asks for uh well we’ll talkabout how they get the pre-turn adamasked for a little bit of trolling tocomeso these guys flowers and it looks likeit’s like they spent more timelamenting orco than we actually got toseeyou know orcas and it was it was it wasmanipulative nowwell you could mess up kevin smith justthat word this whole thing wasthis this whole thing this whole showwas manipulative it’swho the hell is it for so anyway so yeahthey go the guy who get the two has thepower sword back they go to heaven andhell basically to getback they do get scareglow in therebecause in the netherworldit’s the ghost of skeletor and then tilahas to confronthe-man evil he-man right and sheconfronts evil he-manwho basically tells her that uhshe doesn’t have the power because shegave it to himshe she gave her agency she gave up foragency and evil when okay so thisthis is a theme throughout the entireshow a show done by men by the waydone by men is that tila and evil lynnwere basically held back by the men intheir livesevil lynn spent some time talking totila about howshe could have been the big bad shecould have been the master of theuniversebut she gave her life to skeletor’scause and she made hima success this is almost like this islike some like corporate wifecomplaining that she could have been theboss ladybut she had to give up her agency was atrophy wife she was a trophy wifethat’s exactly what’s going on here nowevelyn even in the 2002 series if shewanted to probably could have kickedskeletor’s assshe tried to double cross him a coupletimes that’s not the case here she’slike in an abusive relationshipum tila though yeah she was basicallyheld back byall the lies of her her ex and that’swhat they’re doing they’re bitchingabout their exesthey’re bitching about you know theirdead husbands or their oh my husband wasgay and i didn’t know so now i’m gonna ifelt wide too the whole timethe whole thing’s stupid and this isstupid [ __ ] dude basically the wholething is justto ruin the characters that were existedokay remember he-man and the masters ofthe universeshow that anybody will tell you evenback when the she-ra was going onthey’re like well it’s not for you menyou have he-man this is for the ladiesit’s not for youso they okay fine they got a he-man showthey take he-man out of itthey make it the tila show they theythey pussify characters kill thecharacters make them horrible peoplethat are just keeping the women back soit’s basically the maleversion of feminism show yeahum that most women and you know and thekicker is a lot of women watch t-man alot of girls watched it tooa lot of girls like these characters tooi’m just likeyou know i didn’t want you killing themoff from the in the name of feminismuh she does get the sword by the wayanyway uh-huhum we never said that actually we neversaid that that wasa foreign smith inserted that oneso yeah this show is all aboutdeconstructing masters of the universewhen we heardit was gonna be current year and onnetflix we’re like oh that’s gonna beproblematic it’s a bigbuff blonde hair blue eyed guy how do wedo a showabout him current year well we sidelinehimand we take him out but it’s not evenabout like the guys being stupidwhatever this is likeevery male lead gets sidelined in somefashion like they literally had you knowa aa list of characters like okay well wecan have man in arms at least rightno for reasons he has to stay here andprotect the sorceress no she’s the newman in arms anywayyeah so duncan duncan has to stay behindprotect the sorceress oh he’s going tosend robototo do his job because again this thisactually does conflict with thefilmation show quite a bit the origin ofroboto and this one roboto is a robot hebuilt and put his mind into so robotoknows how to reforgethe sword um that came from the con it’sit’s ait’s a mishmash well we can’t haveroboto because he’s almost like a manso we gotta kill roboto and we kill orkoand we’re basically just left withwe killed moss man you know now we getwe get to go the afterlifewith all the dead the dead he men yup wedo get scare glow because yeah peoplelike scare glow right he’s worth a lotthat figure is worth a lotum so we get to go the afterlife whichis next episode actuallyum but anyway it’s i it’s exactly whatwe thought was gonna be it’s actuallyworsei think i think it’s actually worse thani thought it was gonna bebecause it’s so deliberatethat they are telling this story to teardownall the men and masters of the universewhich is a predominantlymale power fan actuallybecause that’s what it was 95 malecharacter and then who is this forbecause if you want the old school fanswho watch the show and that includeswomen toothis is not this is not it and if youwant to watch if you people didn’t watchthe show they’re going to come into itnot knowing what the hell is going onand it’s not it yeah i think you couldsum it up with this is not it thatthat’s just itlook if this had been a reboot which ofcourse they wouldn’t they wouldn’t gothere on netflix current yearand you had two seasons to build up thehe-man versus skeletor conflictand then you would launch into this likeokay now what happened ifhe-man got sidelined for a season whatwould the other characters dothen it would mean something but whilelike robotohe was in one or two episodes offilmation show he didn’t meananything to anybody really he was justkind of there but he was there so manarms wasn’t there because if man armswas thereman arms would have handled [ __ ]yeah well yeah because we can’t havethat even evil lynn said he was actuallythe most powerful man in the attorneyand he’s likehe was the bad the he’s like she’s likei kept telling skeletor we need to takeout man in arms not he-man focus on manin armsyeah the whole thing’s just i mean themore i think about the angrier i getand then you know we have the wholething with yeah so he-man’sadam’s dead and so when they go to likepre-ternia to get himum you know it is true he if he’s beenhe’s told flat out that if he leavesthat’s ityou know and you die you know you can’tcome back okayyeah so now at the end of the up at theend of theof the season netflix five episodes isnot a damn season stop that [ __ ]at the end of this episode umyou have adam getting stabbedyou know he’s stabbed and and he fallsover now he’s notdead i don’t think i don’t think movingforwardi i i think they’re gonna i think thatthey’ll be like just wait this waybecause i’ll probably try to put he-manback but you’re not going to get him tothe very end yes because it’sproblematicnetflix one of those companies to havetheir list of all the check boxes youhave to hitwell the show’s already done by threemen so that takes a whole bunch of thepositions alreadyso you got to make sure you make itabout women and diverse women and allthis other [ __ ]because if you don’t netflix isn’t gonnaair it then don’t do he-man if you can’tdo it rightdon’t do it at all problem solvedif mattel did this to sell toys i’mtelling you mattelyou’re not gonna sell toys this is goingto be not in the ways you want toi talked about help and anti-helpthis is anti-help this is like peoplewere so excited to hear that we had ahe-manseries coming that was going to be doneby powerhouse the people that did castlewe were excited we were like oh my godyeah i love castlevania yes i’m goodno in some ways i actually feel likethis is a little bitworse than shira because at least shirawe knew going into itwhat it was going to be it was acomplete reboot complete rebootfrom a certain point of view and that’sit you can say okay i can separatesuppose it was no stevenson we weregonna get but they never you know forall theyou know they never destroyed a dorathey never destroyedme and kill her they kill her okay killshe was filminga dora they destroyed her killer theydestroyed they destroyed adorathey didn’t sideline shera for theentire showshe was still in the show i’m just likethe equivalent of it was a show for fansbyfans they weren’t fans clearly no onemakes as many changes you know the onlythe only reason and they changed allthis [ __ ] so netflix would do it that’sexactlythe whole thing is pandered to a certainaudience that netflix wantsthey changed everything so that netflixwould air it then go someplace elseand go and do a show and put itsomeplace elseyeah right that’s what i think peopleare gonna have to do to actually tellthe thestories they want to tell they’re gonnahave to goand it kind of looks like a flippingchick yeah this i mean right now helooks like a dude and almost like awomanyeah yeah even like people werecomplainingon twitter they’re like what you wouldum look just like he-man just likepalette swapped i’m like no2002 they did it they made him look likea teenagerbut he didn’t look like a femme boy hewas he looks like a girlyeah sorry forgot to mention thetransformationsequence oh my god the [ __ ] godsailor [ __ ] movie sailor moontransformation sequence sailor mooneven his butt cheeks are there in theworld comes across he’s all glittery andprismatic as he spins aroundand then the loin cloth oh he goes outto his arm he gets the yesthe arm guards and then it goes to theone clock and one clock appearsas he’s spinning like like flippingsailor moon and you can see that at thebottom of his ass cheekspretty sure yes we see him transforminto he-man one time and it’s a [ __ ]sailor moontransformation sequence it really isi i i was like i think i mentallyblocked that out until now i’m like ohfemale oh my godi’m like [ __ ] i was so upset byeverything else that happened in thisshowso yeah i mean to your point i don’tknowand i have to i have to give props toalan oppenheimer uh he was actually thebest voice actor in the show let’s golet’s give a prize give itmoss man was up in this show very muchbut he was very good when he was in itand uhoh yeah yeah he sounds like joker hesounds exactly the way he was talking ohyeah at the end soso turns out skeletor is in evil lynn’suhstaff the whole time and he she didn’tknow it because it was prettytight she’s protecting his essence andhe couldn’t tell her and then she needsto and he tells her to come over withhim and it was it was very like you knowit was very joker harley quinn s evencalls her lenny like get over herelenny he does i’m like for god’s sakeand then she’s just like harley quinnthen she goes well sorry i startedliking you and goes everything but ithink she’s still i think she’s gonnastill be on the good sidewe just don’t know yet and i thinkthey’re gonna i think they’re gonnabring he-man backi really do in the second season butit’s gonna be in the end or they’regonna be like and then they’re gonnaunderstand that he will he’s alreadydead so he’s gonna move on and they’regonna retire itand he’s gonna take the you know thesword of power is gonna turn intosomething else or somethingbut you know they’re going to bringhe-man back in the second half i meani’ll give them that i’m pretty surethey’re going toyeah i mean there is an opportunity toto walk a lot of this stuff back likeeven the way orco diedhe just sort of like disappeared i meanthey could very easily bring orca backit’s okay it’s all a dream it’s in asnow globe it’s an evil in staffyeah it’s a you know and there’s alittle uh a little eternianautistic kid is looking in the staff andthat’s what the whole thing isthat’s even worse that is worse so nowhe’s got cancer toobut i’m just like you know and thosepeoplethis is just this is just it’s lookthe art looks good though that’s whatmakes me mad it is a well-polished turfand how many furries are in eternia nowyeah i know right like every freakingother characterin this show is a freaking furry likeyeah they had animal people inon eternia yes they did but not thatmany almost it’s almost like now thesethe humans are the masters of thefurries and it’s like isn’t that kind ofwrongit doesn’t it kind of feels like thatwere they using the magicto keep the population in control rightbecause because the magicyeah i don’t know like giant rocks manand all that mossman obviouslyright but not like not the sheer numberof furries there’s a lot of furry sowhat have we learnedcastle grey skull is not real it’s anillusion it wasto hide the hall of wisdom or whateverthe hell that wasum you know we have tila’s aa dude who turned into a pouty [ __ ]for all her strengths she’s a pouty[ __ ] yes the other day[ __ ] oh and sorry michelle gellar can’tact with [ __ ] and the voice acting isgarbage ontila it doesn’t and you can be mean tome all you want if you hear her open hermouth that does not sound like tilaat all no um try klopp’s is is ais a far-right christian uh and it isfundamentalist in his cultum anybody that was a popular milkpowerful male character in the originalshow is either dead or sidelinedyeah um tila somehow has all the powerof both he you know he she has all theshe’s all the strength that he man andall the matt you know and sorcerers atthe same time did you sayyeah pretty much she’s she’s like yeahshe’s gonna wind up she’s gonna wind upgetting everything i think by the end ofthe showteal’s gonna get everything she’s gonnabe sorcerers and the girland the girl she’s gonna get the girland yeah cause that they’re they’re notgonnathey’re not gonna go back to the statusquo if they do it’ll be in the lastcouple minutes of the last episodebut how can they at this point you knowyou’ve already like i mean what are theygonna do go back to like thethe hair brain plot of the week withskeletorbut they’ve already i don’t know yeahsomehow gelato is suddenly supercompetentyeah i mean suddenly he’s like reallyreally confident but the sorceress isn’tlike i said the sorceress never wouldhave fallen for that [ __ ] in anyinformationsuddenly merman could speak totallyclearly and you knowit has like had voice lessons in betweenlike he learned how to articulatehimselfvery well somehow i it just the wholething is just a messi don’t know who it’s for i don’t knowwho it’s for that that’s my thing islike i don’t i mean it’s not for newaudiences because there’s too muchbackground that wasn’t for the old onesit’s not for the old audiences it’s nothere to sell toys becausemattel you’re not going to sell toys yousold a lot of he-man skeletorwho are barely in the showyou sold he-man skeletor from moss manmossman’s out too and hethey brought him out barely in the showi i don’t even know how i don’t evenknow i don’t even know what the and thenthere’s no pictures of tila we have yetto see picturesoh no i saw it sarah michelle gellar washolding a teal and they actually in theboxshe she looks like she’s throwing apunch oh for [ __ ] i’m like moving no oneelse isno move over carol danvers we have a newshelf warmer i’m not trying to be a[ __ ] and pick on sarah michelle gellarbut the voice actingfor tila is terrible they even made ajoke skeletor makes a joke about herbeing a cheerleaderoh she even sounds like it she soundslike it doesn’t even fit that’s thethingshe was never a good actress to beginwith but it’s really bad here sarahmichelle gellaraside the voice does not fit it doesn’tfit the characterit really doesn’t she basically like shewas somebody that thought it was a nameor she was friends with somebodyand she hasn’t done anything in yearsand so they got her to do thisbecause it does not fit like a lot ofthe there’s a couple other voices thatareyou know but hers is the one that standsout the most and she’s like the leadcharacteryeah i mean if you’re gonna havesomebody carry the show if you’re gonnahave tila carry the showthen you need to find a voice that fitsthe characterand that one doesn’t the cheerleadervoice does notfit the character sorry the whole thingis just i don’t even know it’s just amess it’s it’s lookthis was a quick like i again i thinkyou’re right i think it was probably howthis whole thing got startedbecause we know it wouldn’t have beenkevin smith because kevin smith has saidrepeatedly he was not a bigman yeah he didn’t watch the damn thingso he wasn’t gonna go and another guysaid you keep it like shakespearedon’t change it too much you changedeverythingand this isn’t like shakespeare this islike this isthis is shake and bake he man yeah shakeand bakeis that shakespeare’s shake and bake imean looksome people are gonna like it uh andyou’re allowed to like glad to like ifyou like it that’s good because you knowwhati’m happy somebody’s happy because mostpeople aren’t going to probably be happycritics are going to love it because ohyeah they’re already writing articlesabout how likehe-man needed to move beyond teammatesit’s the same people who like last jediyes and they were the ones that they saythe exact same things and they’realready starting look right here thereis a reviewi just i just want to like it to pissoff the man babies right and here’s thething guysthey’re already starting this kevinsmith said in that uprox article youknow alreadyyou know they’re trying to blame it thatif you don’t like it it’s because youdon’t like womenit’s misogyny it’s because if you youdon’t want your toxic person who isracist misogynist trollsum you know because they were madbecause it was made for men and now it’smade for everyone no it’s not made foreveryone anyonewell it’s me if it’s anybody for anyoneit’s made for women feminine and femalefeminists on twitterbecause uh you know they’re they’retaking all the male characters that werestrong memories for boys and then takingthem and just you know destroying themum it’s not made for anyone and they’realready starting the narrativeis exactly what you expect because youthink that they’d be a little creativeby now but no no they’re alreadystartingif you don’t like the show it’s notbecause it’s a piece of [ __ ] and i meanit’s it’s not terrible if it wasn’the-man yeah that that’s the vibe i guessit was she right it wasn’t terrible itwasn’t she-rai would agree with that i would thinkthat i i feel like this is a storythat kevin smith or somebody wanted totellbut they they trojan horsed it with aclassic ip because they knew it wouldn’thave gotten greenlitotherwise it’s like cinderella they cutthe toe or the heel off to make it fitthe shoeright yeah in this case yeah he man’sthe toe yeah apparentlyorco is the heel but i’m just like youknowit’s it’s not it’s not a sequel it isnot a continuation of the show oh it’sgoing to pick up our will it’scontinuationit’s badass oh it’s bad and it’s assit’s just not badassand it’s like so technically you didn’tlie yeah technically it is badass justyou know this should have been like somedrama in between the bad and the ass umbut yeah they’re already starting thenarrativeif you don’t like it you’re amisogynistic blah blah blah blahwhateverno it’s because it’s not it’s not he-manand i would really really wish thesepeople wouldstop rebooting these without rebootingthey’re trying to continue itstop doing these shows from the 80s andthen doing it for current daybecause it doesn’t work to make it workyou have to ruin everything that made itgreatand there’s a reason why everythingpretty much also you get nowadays andcomics something else is absolute [ __ ]because the creativity and the coolstuff are stories and back in the daywhen you can tell storiesand have characters that were good andit didn’t belittle somebody else toelevate another onethose days are over the only way youcould have a good strong femalecharacter isn’t epistle over the maleonei’m sorry i’m a womanyeah it’s it is a netflix show i think ithink he-man could be doneproperly but not on netflix not currentyear and this is these are allall of them are like oh it’s great ohit’s great oh it’s great yeah my assyeah it’s notone dark yeah i think i think this wasmattel being like heywouldn’t it be cool if we got all thesecharacters that we never had on screenbefore honestlywe were actually fans yeah and we did wehad a lot of characters that were neverbefore seen in animation this one gaveit a two out of fourit’s listen it’s fresh a bthey’re listening anything is fresh evenif it’s you know not great oh a nine[ __ ] you know i guarantee you thesepeople weren’t even around thenyeah it’s no i i would give it i’d giveit athree out of ten it’s just more it’sit’s the last jedi it’s moreit’s more of the same we have to tear ohwho was the heroluke skywalker we have to pussify andruin himand that will make the we’ll make it upthis show would be great if it fit awomanthat’s exactly what they did yeah i meanliterallywe don’t even see a lot of the othermasters like there are so many mastersof the universe they showed clamp champand fisto in the beginningwe never see him again after the battlei saw that we never see him again wenever see there there are dozens ofheroic warriors manny faces where’s ramman whereall these other characters that wouldhave unless they show up in the secondhalfbut right now it’s just tila and herfriend that’s the girloh they were gonna do this they shouldnot have divided it in halfno i’m gonna tell you straight up if itturns out that youyou fit you fix it in a way and make ityou know you’re not gonna fix it becauseyou already ruined so many thingsbut if it turns out that you bringhe-man back and you make it about he-managain andreturn it to what it should have been umif that’s what happensyou never should have split it becauseyou’re gonna get so much [ __ ]if you just ran it through you’d bebetter off yeah if we finallyget like all these other masters comingback for one bigbattle with skelegod which is probablywhere it’s going to gowith tila being the leader of course ofcourse of coursethen they get a do-over kind of like thebeginning but with bigger stakes ifthat’s where they’re going with it whichis probably where they’re going with itthen yeah the payoff is fine but peoplethey’re not gonna come back for part twothey’re gonna watch this and be likewhat the [ __ ] is this you know i waslooking at this picture and if youdidn’t know it was supposed to be aa guy and a girl you don’t think it wasa you think they were reversed or youthink it was a girl and another girlyeah yeah it’s it’s it’s i iit’s exactly what we thought was gonnabe but in some ways actually worse thefact thati did not know that castle gray schoolwas going to be an illusion i’m likethat right there tells melike the whole thing is a lie everythingcake is a lieeverything is a lie everything is aliveand that’s why she’s mad that’s why shehad to go find her truth becauseshe was lied to wait so tila’s allowedto get pissed off because everybody liedto her and act like a whiny [ __ ]but everybody else is supposed to justaccept it and and even though kevinsmith liedlike you know we’re supposed you knowwe’re supposed to just accept it becauseyou know that’s what if you were a realfan you would semanticsit’s all semantics it’s well itechnically didn’t lie because thattechnicallytechnically didn’t happen exactly thatway i’m like well i was just given thegist of what i was told and it isactually worse than i thought it wasgonna be and it’s mostly securityit’s mostly accurate so there it is guysuh i think it’s i thinkwe’re going to see some rage um i’mtired of raging i don’t really give a[ __ ]it’s very easy to dismiss this one asapocryphabecause it is clearly not a sequel tofilmation or 2002 he-man or it’s its ownthingbut as a masters fan if i had gone intothis coldgiven the way they promote it as beingif we hadn’t found out and spilled thebeans beforeyeah i would be [ __ ] furious i’d belike what the helldid i just watch and i think a lot ofpeople who aren’t following the drama onyoutubeare gonna be like what the hell did ijust watchi’m just so tired stop just stopstop taking things that are beloved hadyears of fansyou know keeping it going uh diversefans have always been part of it you seeshow run by womenstop lying for one about what it was andwho was involved andyou know and it was you know all about astronger statement stop lyingand two stop rebooting and changingeverything make your own damn showyou know what get enough talent to makeyour own thingproblem solved you know kevin smithmakes his own thing he makes stuff liketuskno i’m just saying i’m just saying iwant to be honest with you this isgenerallike we got thundercats roar and then wegot you knowand then in the early 2000s they triedto do this and they did them well theyactually did because in the early 2000swe had people that grew up with theseshowsand they were in charge and they theyrespected the shows thundercats 2011 andhe-man 2002are still as far as i’m concernedtwo of the best if not the best rebootsof 80s franchises i think 2002 he-man’sbetter than the originalyeah i would agree and they made changesthere too they made changes people werealways100 bored with them but they stilldidn’t fundamentally change thecharactersit was still about he-man they explainedthings more they had origins for a lotof the characters evil lynnevil land in 2002 was a much morenuanced and complex characterthan the the [ __ ] ex-wife mm-hmm thatwe got in this andtila too was a better character in 2002like it was definitely for boys andgirls and it was 100 that way and thecharacters were all like really welldone they got backstoriesthey got you know they were go watchthat show don’t waste your time on thisoneyou want to actually watch a good he-mango watch that one becausethis is absolute [ __ ] i mean it might bea there’s some redeeming elements of thestory there’s some if you if you take itthat it’s not he-man it was another showand it wasn’t he-manit wouldn’t be that bad it’d be kind ofinteresting but when youkeep putting in the fact that it’ssupposed to be a he-man they’re tryingto fit a a square peg into a round holeit’s not gonna work because it’s nothe-manyeah squid king put it like this he’slike so this would be likeif you found out the whole plot ofspongebob was a lie that that planktonfinally gets control of the krusty krabbut the krusty krab isn’t real and oh bythe way spongebob is dead and the show’sall about squidward i’m like yeahbasically mm-hmmboyfriend and his boyfriend yeah that’sbasically it that’s basically itso we’re gonna wrap this up alright soplease subscribe for more pop culture
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