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November 2, 2021 at 5:09 pm #321geektalkKeymaster
Marvel’s Eternals is BAD, But Gets a Pass Because of These 2 Things
Quality doesn’t matter, equality does and that alone is what Marvel is banking on to make The Eternals a success…
folks before you even start today’svideo pause it and go over toshopwcbs.com and get yourself aworld-class bullshitters t-shirt we justlaunched we have some awesome designsand we’re going to be adding moremonthly we’re going to treat the storeas a reflection of the channel we have agreat joke on a show we’re going to putit on a shirt we’re also going to makeit very interactive if you buy our beerglass and drink with us you’ll get ashout out it’d be like drinking with usvirtually so folks go over toshopwcbs.com support independententertainment because the real worldentertainment sucks and now it’s timefor the video the following is aworld-class bullshitters exclusivei like people from all walks of life butthe one thing i can’t stand are peoplewho are full of themselves aka full of[ __ ]the eternals is back on my radar becausemarvel is trying to do the one thingthat marvel does so poorly strive to bethe firstin 2018 black panther was sold asmarvel’s first black superhero when inreality blade beat them to the punchabout a decade earlier in places captainmarvel was touted as being the firstfemale-led superhero movie even thoughwonder woman dropped two years earlierand there had been superhero movies withfemale leads since 1968’s barbarellachang chi was touted as marvel’s firstasian superhero and now we’ve reachedthe eternals where the whole movie isbeing sold because it features this howthe eternals establishes the mcu’s firstgay superhero and same-sex couple in amovie it’s life-saving at the worldpremiere for marvel studios eternals onoctober 18th ha sealman was beaming the45 year old actor who came out as gay in2017 could scarcely believe he was onthe red carpet for a massive studiomovie in which his character ben is thehusband of one of the title superheroesfastos it marks the first time a marvelstudio film has showcased the same-sexcouple and one of the only times anysuperhero movie has included a titlelgbtq characterin a pop culture landscape that has beendominated worldwide by superherostorytelling for over a decade theimpact that representation could havefor the film’s expected global audiencewas very much on sleiman’s mindbeyond a dream come true it’slife-saving the actor told variety iwish i had been there as a kid to seethis my god i wish can you imagine howmany lives this is going to be savingkids young queer folk who are beingbullied committing suicide and notseeing themselves being represented andnow they get to see this it’s above andbeyond well there’s a reason this guy at45 is on the red carpet for the firsttime he’s not a very good actor i thinkthis is all a little too muchlife-savinglife-saving to see this guy play thehusband of a superhero who blows uphiroshimayeah that’s going to be life-saving seeif you want these characters to beimportant to people why can’t they becool why can’t you have a gay superherothat has i don’t know actually neatlooking or fun or exciting you know inthe comics they have them they’ve hadthem for decades oh but it hasn’thappened in the mcu yet so it doesn’treally matteryeah that’s not how first work nor howentertainment works or even should workit’s above and beyond stupid if you askme the day after the premiere directorchloe zao explained that fasto’s husbandand family were already baked into themarvel studio’s conception of thecharacter when she first begandiscussing making the film with thestudio she was especially taken with theidea that fastos an ageless alien whocame to earth 7000 years ago to helpguide human civilization throughout thepowers of invention rediscovers his longlost faith in humanity through findingben and starting a family it helped thefilmmaker to see a way to walk the linebetween emotionally groundedstorytelling and breaking long overduebarriers for the lgbtq representation isthat all the filmmakers think about whenmaking movies these days how to patthemselves on the backi miss when an actor or celebrity wantedyou to buy their album or check outtheir i don’t know their vegan recipecookbook not this what’s important is toshow that isn’t about a message we’retrying to put out zao said i thinkfinding authenticity in moments likethis is crucial for me so it doesn’tfeel forced so you can actually relateto them it’s the most important thingit’s not just about being the first it’sabout do you actually feel for themwhether you’re gay or straight orwhatever a character’s sexuality wouldnever judge how i feel about them theyhave to be entertaining but from whati’ve read from what i’ve seen thesecharacters are boring and dullmarvel has this mistake where if they’retrying to have something representsomeone or a group or whatever an ideala belief they make them [ __ ] boringlet that sit there for a minute bymaking everything so stern and seriousand emotionally grounded you take awaythe fungay characters don’t have to be thetarget of jokes but they can be funenjoyable gay characters in film gaypeople and movies is nothing new butwe’re acting like it is because marvel’sdoing it for the first time and ifmarvel does it that’s the only thingthat matters did you guys hear marvelinvented this thing it’s called beerit’s wonderfulthank god for marvel there have beenother lgbtq characters in movies and tvshows based on marvel comics includingthe lesbian couple negasonic teenagewarhead and yukio and deadpool 2 and theamoral lawyer jerry hogarth on thenetflix series jessica jonesbut none were produced by marvel studiossee in the [ __ ] article right herejust because marvel studios doesn’tproduce it it doesn’t matter listenvariety i hate your publication you’rereally useless it’s embarrassing that ilive really close to your building but idigress my point is this is notrelevant what happened to entertainmentjournalism i i would love to know whati’m guessing is a lot of people rightafter i got out of collegeshoved their heads right up their assesand continued their way into theworkforce with their heads firmly uptheir asses and that’s why we get movieslike this that are promoted on this theythink this is a selling point i justwant to go and see something cool nothave to compete in mental gymnastics asto why the eternals weren’t there whenthanos destroyed the universe[ __ ] like that is important to me i’m afilm goer i’m a ticket buyer i willspend money but i need [ __ ] like thatanswered i don’t care where fastosfuckos or whatever his [ __ ] name isgoes home and where he sleeps and whathe does cool awesome i don’t need to seespiderman take a [ __ ] i know he takes a[ __ ] he’s a person cool let’s move on tothe next part of the story same thingwith this character okay you establishhe’s a gay guy who finds love awesomelet’s go save the universe i don’t needto see him at homethis is where i begin to roll my eyesthat would give a great deal of creditto henry the actor who plays fastos forbringing the level of authenticity tothe role and helping fill out who fastusis well beyond how he’s defined in thescripthmm he would show up and like even thepowers he’s doing he came up with allthese hand gestures she said that wasn’tme that’s the way he speaks to his sonthat dynamic the jokes they all havebeen them a lot of them are improvisedhenry was currently in production on thefx hulu series class of 09 has notparticipated in most of the interviewsfor eternals but he did discuss theprofound effect the role had on him inan extended and emotional moment duringa press conference for the movie iremember when i was coming to thisproject that i brian had kind of lostfaith in humanity i brian okayjust looking at all the things we’vebeen going through and just what theimages of black men were and how we’rebeing portrayed and how the power wastaken away from us in the lack of poweror feeling powerful henry said look manonly you can allow yourself to feelpowerless but if you want to talk aboutthe images of how black men areportrayed in entertainment look nofurther the king of wakanda blackpanther hmm it’s in the name blackpanther that movie made a bunch of moneythat movie has made more money than theeternals could even dream of making likeplease tell me how fast those acharacter from a group called theeternals which nobody [ __ ] knows andeven less people care about tell me howthat’s gonna do so much more to bringback the power to black peoplei don’t feel empowered by fastos i feelembarrassed the article continues onabout lgbtq representation in the filmbirds of prey in which rosie perez’srenamed montoya’s character’s sexualityis barely expressed on screen if at allso it’s critical for zao that fastos andben have a moment of genuine physicallove between them presented as apassionate kiss before fastus leaves hisfamily to go save the world do you guysremember a little film called mulratsback in 1995where brody bruce played by jason leemeets stan the manly there’s a scenewhere brody is obsessed with superherogenitalia and stan lee just kind ofchuckles and laughs it off society nowhumors brody to the nth degree all wefocus on are superhero sex lives i don’tgive a [ __ ] what batman does i don’tcare what superman does i don’t carewhat fast dose does superheroing orromantically this is not interesting acharacter’s sexuality much like a realperson’s sexuality if that’s the mostimportant thing about you i don’t wantto know you and if it’s a fictionalcharacter that that’s the forefront ofeverything their sexuality theirsexuality i don’t want to read it andi’m not gonna buy it i want to readstories of high adventure swashbucklingtales science fiction horror anythingfantasy name it i don’t really care whatlink and zelda do after you win i don’twant to know what mario and peach do idon’t even want to watch james bond bangthese women you know they do and that’senough focusing on this obsessively thisalleged family-friendly entertainmentall they can do is focus on this itmakes you wonder whose family are theyactually trying to appeal toin her quest for authenticity zhao hassaid that she barely gave any directionto henry and sleeman for that scene it’sup to the two of them to figure out whatthat moment meant and how it should beshe said i’ll explain what the situationis that’s how i work with actorsi don’t even care anymore this wholearticle is about a kiss a movie that’sbeing sold on a kissawesome awesomeand i thought i was done but let’s justsee how this closes because this is a[ __ ] eye roller while henry did notaddress fastos’s sexuality directlyduring the eternals press conference hedid speak to how marvel first approachedhim for the role and what it meant to behimfolks be prepared for maximum cringethis is gonna hurti remember the first time that they werelike we want you to be a superhero and iwas like cool how much weight do i needto lose henry said and chloe was likewhat are you talking about we want youexactly as you are to be a black man tohave someone look at you and say we wantyou exactly the way you are is unlikeanything i’ve ever felt it justtriggered me to be an 11 year old kidwho was watching these superhero moviesand not ever seeing anything like mereflected and how i would look at theseposters and put them on my locker andjust hope that one day there would besomebody representing me in the way youknow i am and i truly believe thatmoment started when i sat down withchloe it’s unlike any feeling i’ve everexperiencedthat’s awesome man that’s gonna make agreat movie i can’t wait to spendhundreds of dollars to go support howyou feel what the [ __ ] kind of [ __ ]is this oh my god how far have we falleni would rather be sold a goddamncommercial than this [ __ ] what is this[ __ ] let’s take a step back and talkabout this [ __ ] how this articleends me me being reflected listen nobodyreally knows what ethnic background i amwhat i look like who i really am butgoddammit i’ve never seen myselfrepresented on screen one to one andguess what i don’t give a [ __ ] i reallydon’t care that’s not how people shouldact why the [ __ ] are you so concernedhow are you so removed from what the artis let’s look at the biggest superheroof all time batman rich white guy whoseparents were murdered hmm guess what nota rich white guy my parents weren’tmurdered but my dad died i was able torelate to batman same thing withspider-man poor kid from new york citywho lived with his aunt and uncle well ididn’t live with my aunt and uncle but iwas close with my grandma she looked alot like aunt may oh i wasn’t white likespider-man but guess what i was a goodstudent i really appreciated that therewas a superhero out there that wasworried about intelligence and how hegot out of trouble because he was smartthat’s why i identified with spider-mansuperman truth justice in the americanway i think everybody can identify withsuperman because they love the powerfantasy are you as moral and just as analien would you be able to care abouthumanity the same way that an alien doesthat’s the interesting dynamic that’show you relate to superheroes i’m surethere’s traits in wonder woman andbatwoman and batgirl and all these otherfemale heroes that people like you knowwhatrogue [ __ ] i don’t even look anythinglike rogue i don’t have a southernaccent but i understand what she goesthrough with the isolation everybodyunderstands maybe you’re quiet maybeyou’re reserved maybe you’re a littleweird we all are but guess what roguecan’t touch people that is her tragedyyet we can all understand and relatewhat it’s like to not have the thingsyou want when you take such a basic andboring approach to your superheroing oryour entertainment in general and youfocus on the phrase representationyou’re really not representing anyoneyou need to be a chubby black dude whohappens to like other guys okay cool i’msure there’s a market for that is itgoing to make a lot of money no and dudewhy were you putting these posters onyour locker if you didn’t like them somuch if you were so not represented bywhat you were seeing if that was such aproblem why did you keep feeding themachine why did you keep going to seethese movies and why did you put theseposters on your locker why would you putup a picture of something you hatesomething that makes you feel insecuresomething that lacks the representationthat speaks only to youyou are the problem you exposed yourselfto this [ __ ] this movie is [ __ ]i’m so tired of i’m supposed to buy this[ __ ] because it makes this guy feel goodor this does that this type ofrepresentation is so small it reallyminimizes your audienceyou have to look like something guesswhat i’ll never like anime or manga idon’t look like any of the characters myeyes aren’t giant and my skin’s not thesame color oh boo hoo i can’t watch this[ __ ] i love x-men i can’t like wolverinebecause he’s a short hairy white guyi’m not shortwhat the [ __ ] this is the dumbest [ __ ]this is why entertainment is in thetoilet listening to twitter and thefifties and all this other [ __ ] ofpeople oh i’m so touched by what yourmovie means to meawesome i’m touched by what star warsmeans to me remember the rise ofskywalker and how progressive that moviewas for the first lesbian kiss in starwars it still was the least successfulin that trilogy and they still cut itout in other parts of the world i wonderwhy the eternals isn’t going gonna beput out in china last time i checked theeternals isn’t gonna be released inchina so i guess disney and marvel don’treally have to worry about placating tothat part of the worldso the article was a bit much and it’snot gonna sell the movie flashy effectsrecognizable characters those sellmarvel movies the eternals is settingitself up for the ultimatedisappointment because audiences don’tcare about all this they want goodentertainment these are movies notsocial projects to make everyone feelincluded quality is paramount no matterhow good the ideals are this sort ofmarketing guilt marketing is like fomo’sstupid little brother if you don’t seethis movie you’ll miss out has becomesee this movie or else you hate gaypeople that holds about as much weightas michael myers being homophobicbecause he kills everyone equallysell us movies that look good no morepasses because of groundbreaking firstsyou’re [ __ ] out of them marveljuststopso what do you think about all this doesthe eternals look good to you on its ownmerit or do you need this kind ofsecondary marketing to guilt you intoseeing it i don’t buy it i don’t fallfor this [ __ ] and hopefully most of youdon’t either you’re all too smart for itthat’s why you’re here so folks i wantto know what you think about theeternals i want to know what you thinkabout all of this how they market thisfilm and the verbage the words tell mewhat you think about this varietyarticlei feel like i don’t even speak englishanymore like i’m an alien like i’m moreout there than superman i don’t evenunderstand half of what this [ __ ] meansnow i’m just being facetious iunderstand everything that’s being saidhere but i can’t understand why that isthe focus whysome people are so obsessed with makingsuperhero movies and kids entertainmentfamily entertainment why are theyobsessed with making it so infused withthis the sexuality of these charactersor this view or this belief what’s wrongjust making a good movie you don’t needto market this stuff if it’s in themovie and it’s good on its own awesomeit’s not going to make or break a film agreat movie with gay characters is agreat movie a terrible movie with gaycharacters is terriblei wouldn’t call seat of chucky a qualityfilm just because it has those viewssame with sleep away camp these are allfun schlocky movies but they’re not whati would consider great films becausethey feature transgender characters orcertain user beliefs you know what i’msaying you get the point they disneychloe’s al the actors involved andthey’ve lost the point they missed theirmark and i think the eternals is gonnamiss that mark at the box office sofolks i’m gonna get out of here i’m veryconfused with all of this what does itmean why why whywhy marvel whythank you for watching folks grab at-shirt at shopwcbs.com and i’ll be backnext time with morebut in the meantime be smart be safe becool and always be excellent to eachother
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