Marvel’s Eternals is BAD, But Gets a Pass

[geektalk]

Marvel’s Eternals is BAD, But Gets a Pass Because of These 2 Things

Quality doesn’t matter, equality does and that alone is what Marvel is banking on to make The Eternals a success…

 

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i like people from all walks of life but

the one thing i can’t stand are people

who are full of themselves aka full of

[ __ ]

the eternals is back on my radar because

marvel is trying to do the one thing

that marvel does so poorly strive to be

the first

in 2018 black panther was sold as

marvel’s first black superhero when in

reality blade beat them to the punch

about a decade earlier in places captain

marvel was touted as being the first

female-led superhero movie even though

wonder woman dropped two years earlier

and there had been superhero movies with

female leads since 1968’s barbarella

chang chi was touted as marvel’s first

asian superhero and now we’ve reached

the eternals where the whole movie is

being sold because it features this how

the eternals establishes the mcu’s first

gay superhero and same-sex couple in a

movie it’s life-saving at the world

premiere for marvel studios eternals on

october 18th ha sealman was beaming the

45 year old actor who came out as gay in

2017 could scarcely believe he was on

the red carpet for a massive studio

movie in which his character ben is the

husband of one of the title superheroes

fastos it marks the first time a marvel

studio film has showcased the same-sex

couple and one of the only times any

superhero movie has included a title

lgbtq character

in a pop culture landscape that has been

dominated worldwide by superhero

storytelling for over a decade the

impact that representation could have

for the film’s expected global audience

was very much on sleiman’s mind

beyond a dream come true it’s

life-saving the actor told variety i

wish i had been there as a kid to see

this my god i wish can you imagine how

many lives this is going to be saving

kids young queer folk who are being

bullied committing suicide and not

seeing themselves being represented and

now they get to see this it’s above and

beyond well there’s a reason this guy at

45 is on the red carpet for the first

time he’s not a very good actor i think

this is all a little too much

life-saving

life-saving to see this guy play the

husband of a superhero who blows up

hiroshima

yeah that’s going to be life-saving see

if you want these characters to be

important to people why can’t they be

cool why can’t you have a gay superhero

that has i don’t know actually neat

looking or fun or exciting you know in

the comics they have them they’ve had

them for decades oh but it hasn’t

happened in the mcu yet so it doesn’t

really matter

yeah that’s not how first work nor how

entertainment works or even should work

it’s above and beyond stupid if you ask

me the day after the premiere director

chloe zao explained that fasto’s husband

and family were already baked into the

marvel studio’s conception of the

character when she first began

discussing making the film with the

studio she was especially taken with the

idea that fastos an ageless alien who

came to earth 7000 years ago to help

guide human civilization throughout the

powers of invention rediscovers his long

lost faith in humanity through finding

ben and starting a family it helped the

filmmaker to see a way to walk the line

between emotionally grounded

storytelling and breaking long overdue

barriers for the lgbtq representation is

that all the filmmakers think about when

making movies these days how to pat

themselves on the back

i miss when an actor or celebrity wanted

you to buy their album or check out

their i don’t know their vegan recipe

cookbook not this what’s important is to

show that isn’t about a message we’re

trying to put out zao said i think

finding authenticity in moments like

this is crucial for me so it doesn’t

feel forced so you can actually relate

to them it’s the most important thing

it’s not just about being the first it’s

about do you actually feel for them

whether you’re gay or straight or

whatever a character’s sexuality would

never judge how i feel about them they

have to be entertaining but from what

i’ve read from what i’ve seen these

characters are boring and dull

marvel has this mistake where if they’re

trying to have something represent

someone or a group or whatever an ideal

a belief they make them [ __ ] boring

let that sit there for a minute by

making everything so stern and serious

and emotionally grounded you take away

the fun

gay characters don’t have to be the

target of jokes but they can be fun

enjoyable gay characters in film gay

people and movies is nothing new but

we’re acting like it is because marvel’s

doing it for the first time and if

marvel does it that’s the only thing

that matters did you guys hear marvel

invented this thing it’s called beer

it’s wonderful

thank god for marvel there have been

other lgbtq characters in movies and tv

shows based on marvel comics including

the lesbian couple negasonic teenage

warhead and yukio and deadpool 2 and the

amoral lawyer jerry hogarth on the

netflix series jessica jones

but none were produced by marvel studios

see in the [ __ ] article right here

just because marvel studios doesn’t

produce it it doesn’t matter listen

variety i hate your publication you’re

really useless it’s embarrassing that i

live really close to your building but i

digress my point is this is not

relevant what happened to entertainment

journalism i i would love to know what

i’m guessing is a lot of people right

after i got out of college

shoved their heads right up their asses

and continued their way into the

workforce with their heads firmly up

their asses and that’s why we get movies

like this that are promoted on this they

think this is a selling point i just

want to go and see something cool not

have to compete in mental gymnastics as

to why the eternals weren’t there when

thanos destroyed the universe

[ __ ] like that is important to me i’m a

film goer i’m a ticket buyer i will

spend money but i need [ __ ] like that

answered i don’t care where fastos

fuckos or whatever his [ __ ] name is

goes home and where he sleeps and what

he does cool awesome i don’t need to see

spiderman take a [ __ ] i know he takes a

[ __ ] he’s a person cool let’s move on to

the next part of the story same thing

with this character okay you establish

he’s a gay guy who finds love awesome

let’s go save the universe i don’t need

to see him at home

this is where i begin to roll my eyes

that would give a great deal of credit

to henry the actor who plays fastos for

bringing the level of authenticity to

the role and helping fill out who fastus

is well beyond how he’s defined in the

script

hmm he would show up and like even the

powers he’s doing he came up with all

these hand gestures she said that wasn’t

me that’s the way he speaks to his son

that dynamic the jokes they all have

been them a lot of them are improvised

henry was currently in production on the

fx hulu series class of 09 has not

participated in most of the interviews

for eternals but he did discuss the

profound effect the role had on him in

an extended and emotional moment during

a press conference for the movie i

remember when i was coming to this

project that i brian had kind of lost

faith in humanity i brian okay

just looking at all the things we’ve

been going through and just what the

images of black men were and how we’re

being portrayed and how the power was

taken away from us in the lack of power

or feeling powerful henry said look man

only you can allow yourself to feel

powerless but if you want to talk about

the images of how black men are

portrayed in entertainment look no

further the king of wakanda black

panther hmm it’s in the name black

panther that movie made a bunch of money

that movie has made more money than the

eternals could even dream of making like

please tell me how fast those a

character from a group called the

eternals which nobody [ __ ] knows and

even less people care about tell me how

that’s gonna do so much more to bring

back the power to black people

i don’t feel empowered by fastos i feel

embarrassed the article continues on

about lgbtq representation in the film

birds of prey in which rosie perez’s

renamed montoya’s character’s sexuality

is barely expressed on screen if at all

so it’s critical for zao that fastos and

ben have a moment of genuine physical

love between them presented as a

passionate kiss before fastus leaves his

family to go save the world do you guys

remember a little film called mulrats

back in 1995

where brody bruce played by jason lee

meets stan the manly there’s a scene

where brody is obsessed with superhero

genitalia and stan lee just kind of

chuckles and laughs it off society now

humors brody to the nth degree all we

focus on are superhero sex lives i don’t

give a [ __ ] what batman does i don’t

care what superman does i don’t care

what fast dose does superheroing or

romantically this is not interesting a

character’s sexuality much like a real

person’s sexuality if that’s the most

important thing about you i don’t want

to know you and if it’s a fictional

character that that’s the forefront of

everything their sexuality their

sexuality i don’t want to read it and

i’m not gonna buy it i want to read

stories of high adventure swashbuckling

tales science fiction horror anything

fantasy name it i don’t really care what

link and zelda do after you win i don’t

want to know what mario and peach do i

don’t even want to watch james bond bang

these women you know they do and that’s

enough focusing on this obsessively this

alleged family-friendly entertainment

all they can do is focus on this it

makes you wonder whose family are they

actually trying to appeal to

in her quest for authenticity zhao has

said that she barely gave any direction

to henry and sleeman for that scene it’s

up to the two of them to figure out what

that moment meant and how it should be

she said i’ll explain what the situation

is that’s how i work with actors

i don’t even care anymore this whole

article is about a kiss a movie that’s

being sold on a kiss

awesome awesome

and i thought i was done but let’s just

see how this closes because this is a

[ __ ] eye roller while henry did not

address fastos’s sexuality directly

during the eternals press conference he

did speak to how marvel first approached

him for the role and what it meant to be

him

folks be prepared for maximum cringe

this is gonna hurt

i remember the first time that they were

like we want you to be a superhero and i

was like cool how much weight do i need

to lose henry said and chloe was like

what are you talking about we want you

exactly as you are to be a black man to

have someone look at you and say we want

you exactly the way you are is unlike

anything i’ve ever felt it just

triggered me to be an 11 year old kid

who was watching these superhero movies

and not ever seeing anything like me

reflected and how i would look at these

posters and put them on my locker and

just hope that one day there would be

somebody representing me in the way you

know i am and i truly believe that

moment started when i sat down with

chloe it’s unlike any feeling i’ve ever

experienced

that’s awesome man that’s gonna make a

great movie i can’t wait to spend

hundreds of dollars to go support how

you feel what the [ __ ] kind of [ __ ]

is this oh my god how far have we fallen

i would rather be sold a goddamn

commercial than this [ __ ] what is this

[ __ ] let’s take a step back and talk

about this [ __ ] how this article

ends me me being reflected listen nobody

really knows what ethnic background i am

what i look like who i really am but

goddammit i’ve never seen myself

represented on screen one to one and

guess what i don’t give a [ __ ] i really

don’t care that’s not how people should

act why the [ __ ] are you so concerned

how are you so removed from what the art

is let’s look at the biggest superhero

of all time batman rich white guy whose

parents were murdered hmm guess what not

a rich white guy my parents weren’t

murdered but my dad died i was able to

relate to batman same thing with

spider-man poor kid from new york city

who lived with his aunt and uncle well i

didn’t live with my aunt and uncle but i

was close with my grandma she looked a

lot like aunt may oh i wasn’t white like

spider-man but guess what i was a good

student i really appreciated that there

was a superhero out there that was

worried about intelligence and how he

got out of trouble because he was smart

that’s why i identified with spider-man

superman truth justice in the american

way i think everybody can identify with

superman because they love the power

fantasy are you as moral and just as an

alien would you be able to care about

humanity the same way that an alien does

that’s the interesting dynamic that’s

how you relate to superheroes i’m sure

there’s traits in wonder woman and

batwoman and batgirl and all these other

female heroes that people like you know

what

rogue [ __ ] i don’t even look anything

like rogue i don’t have a southern

accent but i understand what she goes

through with the isolation everybody

understands maybe you’re quiet maybe

you’re reserved maybe you’re a little

weird we all are but guess what rogue

can’t touch people that is her tragedy

yet we can all understand and relate

what it’s like to not have the things

you want when you take such a basic and

boring approach to your superheroing or

your entertainment in general and you

focus on the phrase representation

you’re really not representing anyone

you need to be a chubby black dude who

happens to like other guys okay cool i’m

sure there’s a market for that is it

going to make a lot of money no and dude

why were you putting these posters on

your locker if you didn’t like them so

much if you were so not represented by

what you were seeing if that was such a

problem why did you keep feeding the

machine why did you keep going to see

these movies and why did you put these

posters on your locker why would you put

up a picture of something you hate

something that makes you feel insecure

something that lacks the representation

that speaks only to you

you are the problem you exposed yourself

to this [ __ ] this movie is [ __ ]

i’m so tired of i’m supposed to buy this

[ __ ] because it makes this guy feel good

or this does that this type of

representation is so small it really

minimizes your audience

you have to look like something guess

what i’ll never like anime or manga i

don’t look like any of the characters my

eyes aren’t giant and my skin’s not the

same color oh boo hoo i can’t watch this

[ __ ] i love x-men i can’t like wolverine

because he’s a short hairy white guy

i’m not short

what the [ __ ] this is the dumbest [ __ ]

this is why entertainment is in the

toilet listening to twitter and the

fifties and all this other [ __ ] of

people oh i’m so touched by what your

movie means to me

awesome i’m touched by what star wars

means to me remember the rise of

skywalker and how progressive that movie

was for the first lesbian kiss in star

wars it still was the least successful

in that trilogy and they still cut it

out in other parts of the world i wonder

why the eternals isn’t going gonna be

put out in china last time i checked the

eternals isn’t gonna be released in

china so i guess disney and marvel don’t

really have to worry about placating to

that part of the world

so the article was a bit much and it’s

not gonna sell the movie flashy effects

recognizable characters those sell

marvel movies the eternals is setting

itself up for the ultimate

disappointment because audiences don’t

care about all this they want good

entertainment these are movies not

social projects to make everyone feel

included quality is paramount no matter

how good the ideals are this sort of

marketing guilt marketing is like fomo’s

stupid little brother if you don’t see

this movie you’ll miss out has become

see this movie or else you hate gay

people that holds about as much weight

as michael myers being homophobic

because he kills everyone equally

sell us movies that look good no more

passes because of groundbreaking firsts

you’re [ __ ] out of them marvel

just

stop

so what do you think about all this does

the eternals look good to you on its own

merit or do you need this kind of

secondary marketing to guilt you into

seeing it i don’t buy it i don’t fall

for this [ __ ] and hopefully most of you

don’t either you’re all too smart for it

that’s why you’re here so folks i want

to know what you think about the

eternals i want to know what you think

about all of this how they market this

film and the verbage the words tell me

what you think about this variety

article

i feel like i don’t even speak english

anymore like i’m an alien like i’m more

out there than superman i don’t even

understand half of what this [ __ ] means

now i’m just being facetious i

understand everything that’s being said

here but i can’t understand why that is

the focus why

some people are so obsessed with making

superhero movies and kids entertainment

family entertainment why are they

obsessed with making it so infused with

this the sexuality of these characters

or this view or this belief what’s wrong

just making a good movie you don’t need

to market this stuff if it’s in the

movie and it’s good on its own awesome

it’s not going to make or break a film a

great movie with gay characters is a

great movie a terrible movie with gay

characters is terrible

i wouldn’t call seat of chucky a quality

film just because it has those views

same with sleep away camp these are all

fun schlocky movies but they’re not what

i would consider great films because

they feature transgender characters or

certain user beliefs you know what i’m

saying you get the point they disney

chloe’s al the actors involved and

they’ve lost the point they missed their

mark and i think the eternals is gonna

miss that mark at the box office so

folks i’m gonna get out of here i’m very

confused with all of this what does it

mean why why why

why marvel why

thank you for watching folks grab a

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next time with more

but in the meantime be smart be safe be

cool and always be excellent to each

other

 

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