November 4, 2021 at 9:10 am #333geektalkKeymaster
Is Marvel’s Eternals really that bad? Why yes, it is! | Mild Spoiler Review
Marvel’s Eternals has broken new ground, in that it if the first MCU feature film to receive a rotten score on Rotten Tomatoes. To be clear, it is not trolls, but professional critics leaving these negative reviews, and some of them are really savage.
How bad does the movie have to be for a professional critic to put out a headline like this about a Marvel movie!?
Well, @AndreEinherjar has seen it, so we’re about to find out. He will begin this review by providing a brief story overview that will feature some mild spoilers; before going through what he liked, what he disliked, his final verdict, and where he thinks this all went so horribly wrong.
marvel’s eternals has broken new groundin that it is the first mcu feature filmto receive a rotten score on rottentomatoes to be clear it is not trollsbut professional critics leaving thesenegative reviews and some of them arereally savagehow bad does the movie have to be for aprofessional critic to put out aheadline like this about a marvel moviewell i’ve seen it so we’re about to findout i will begin this review byproviding a brief story overview thatwill feature some mild spoilers beforegoing through what i liked what idisliked my final verdict and where ithink this all went so horribly horriblywrongthe movie tells the story of theeternals a race of immortals who don’tagethey serve the celestials and forthousands of yearsthey have been under instruction toprotect earth from attacking deviantsat some point in time they will get togo back to their home world of olympusor so they have been led to believe yousee these celestials withheld some vitalinformation from the eternalsboth about the true purpose of theirmission their intentions for planetearth and about the eternals themselvesthe story is kicked into action when thedeviants return after centuries ofinactivity but unlike past encountersthey are now actively hunting eternalson top of that planet earth itself is inupheaval and someone in their own ranksmay be double crossing themwith that the stage is set for marvel’seternals directed by chloe xiao i wouldlove to be able to say that the eternalsis a movie that explores the origins andevolution of human society the passageof time living life and mortality i’d belying if i did though because the moviemerely touches on any of those themesthe themes are good and if exploredproperly they could have made for agreat movie but this is not a greatmovie it’s not even a good movie or apassable movie honestly it’s a prettybad movie one of the major reasons forthat is that it is trying to do too muchat the same time and because of that itfails at everything it is trying to dothis movie needed to either scale backwhat it wanted to do into something thatcould be done within the confines of afeature film running time or to increasethe running time restructuring itselfinto a mini-series as it stands marvel’seternals is both too long and too shortat the same timeand that makes for a poorly structurednarrative mess that seemingly doesn’tknow what it wants to be or what itwants to do which is not to say all isbadwhether it was intentional from thefilmmaker’s point of view or not it ismy opinion that the heart and soul ofthe movie is the character sprite orgender bent pinocchio as i like to callher portrayed by leah mchugh she was theabsolute highlight of the movie and theone where the themes best shone throughas she is the one character for whomlife eternal is a curse rather than ablessing since she is forever stuck atan age where life cannot truly be livedthe flip side to her character is kumailnanjani’s kingo who loves and makes theabsolute most of life everlasting thesetwo opposites really work and show whatthis movie had the potential to besadly that potential was left on thetablethe rest of the cast all do what theycan with what they have to work with butthat’s where the limitation isthere are fundamental issues and storyand structure here that no actor canovercome i’m also happy to report thatthe much touted diversity and inclusionisn’t pushed to the forefront inunnatural ways instead it’s just theretaken for granted as a part of naturealso the movie’s score was just finedidn’t stand out one way or the othernow that we’ve addressed the good andthe neutral we’re left with the bad andsadly that includes everyone andeverything elsefrom script to direction to design tocinematography and all the way up toediting the movie is a tonal messjumping back and forth between differentatmospheres the screen story doesn’tlive up to the themes and at times themovie has an almost dreamlike qualitynot because they intended it i think butbecause the narrative is just a bit outof whack to paraphrase the rottentomatoes consensus the movie tries tosoar but it drips and falls face firstinto the ground in a ranking of all mcufeature films i would put this at orvery near the bottomhow could marvel put out something thisbadas the producer and driving force behindthe mcu kevin feige is ultimately toblame for all of the eternal’sshortcomings where i think he steppedwrong specifically though was in hiringchloe zhao to directthe best mcu movies have always been theones where the director’s sensibilitiesline up with the movie’s tone characterdynamics and or emotional touchstonewhen all of this lines up the directorcan easily work within the parameters ofthe mcu and still lift an already goodscript to another level like forinstance james gunn did with guardiansof the galaxy or the russos did withcaptain america the winter soldier herechloe zao wasn’t able to do that and tome at leastthe obvious reason for why not is thather sensibilities as a filmmaker justdon’t match what was required to makethe eternals take off her bleak denisvilleneuve inspired documentary style issimply not a fit with the property likejack kirby’s eternalseven if this movie is mostly based onthe later neil gaiman iteration whichalso was a mistake the one who shouldhave recognized that was kevin feige hedidn’t and the movie suffered for itthat is a shame because in the hands ofsomeone with the right sensibilities andpossibly in a miniseries format thiscould have been something speciallet me know your thoughts in thecomments
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.