This topic contains 0 voices and has 0 replies.
July 31, 2021 at 6:01 pm #277geektalkKeymaster
Loki, the latest MCU TV show, has turned out to be one of the weakest and most poorly written things Marvel has produced.
what are you going to domake another show now it’s no secretthat marvel on tv hasn’t exactlydistinguished itself so farone division started out with anintriguing premise only to devolve intoa generic cgi[ __ ] fist with unlikable characters andextremely questionable moral messagesthey’ll never know what you sacrificedfor themwell falcon and the winter soldierstarted out as a cgiship fest with marginally likablecharacters only to devolve into a boringpreachy critical race theory lecturesessionyou’ve got to do better senator [ __ ] offfalconin fact [ __ ] everyone associated withthis crapexcept craft services those guys areawesome anyway with those out of the waywe come at last to lokimarvel’s third attempt to ruin a popularestablished characterby making them do and say things thattheir cinematic counterparts never wouldwhile telling a pointless andunsatisfying story that didn’t need tobe told in the first placeready too [ __ ] bad because like itell tatiana every saturday night i’mgoing in hard and fast on this one andit’s up to you to make the best of itso pucker up and witness thisloki picks up during the events ofavengers end game where a bit of timetravel shenanigans allows avengers eraloki to escape custody with thetesseractbut he’s barely launched into his firstridiculously self-aggrandizing speechbefore a bunch of black stormtroopersshow up and body positive space copstuns and captures himi guess we’ll just overlook the factthat loki is half as guardianso he’s got superhuman strengthendurance and reflexes and would almostcertainly be able to fend off an attacklike thisgotta get whatever passes for a plotmoving i supposeso body positive space cop takes loki todiverse commander lady where he’s foundguilty of crimes against the timevariants authorityand sentenced to be erased fromexistence what the [ __ ] is the tva youmay askwell the short version is that thereused to be a bunch of differenttimelineskind of like parallel universes orwhatever but then it all got a bit outof hand and they started fighting eachotherwhen the [ __ ] would you go to waragainst a different branch of existencethat has absolutely no impact on yourowndon’t know the upshot is that threegiant space lizardssomehow found a way to amalgamate allthese different multiverses into onesingle timeline and they created the tvato maintain the integrity of itand if anyone else is getting umbrellaacademy vibes from all of this then restassured you’re not aloneanyway the tva’s main role is to huntdown variantsindividuals who deviate from the correctflow of events and threaten theintegrity of the timelinehow the [ __ ] would you even begin tomonitor something as infinitely vast andcomplex as the universewe’re literally trillions of possibleoutcomes are decided every singlenanosecondhow do the space lizards decide what thecorrect flow of events should bedoesn’t this mean that absolutelynothing that’s happened up to this pointactually means anythingbecause free will doesn’t even existdon’t knowthe point is that loki’s escape with thetesseract altered the timeline andmarked him out as a variancewait shouldn’t tony stark be erasedsince he’s the one who invented the timemachinenow look he’s all set to be erased fromhistory when owen wilson comes in withan offer he can’t refusehelp them to hunt down a particularlytricky variant they’ve been strugglingto apprehend and maybe they’ll spare hislife hmm i wonder why they wanthim in particular for a job like thiswhat is it aboutthis isn’t about you noway oh wow who could have predicted thatthis masked figure would turn out to beanother variant of lokinaturally because this loki’s a femaleshe’s better than our version in everypossibleway she’s smarter more cunning morephysically capablebetter at fighting and of course she hasa tragic backstory to totally justifyher actions in the presencebecause as you know no woman is capableof being evil according to modernhollywoods[Laughter]anyway female loki is out to destroy thetvaand naturally original loki startsfollowing her around like an obedientpuppyuntil the two of them get stranded on aplanet that’s about to explodeand they also have the hots for eachother which is really weird when youconsiderthat they’re literally variations of thesame personso like if they have sex is thatconsidered incest or masturbationbut luckily the tvas show up just in thenick of time and rescue theman original loki gets trapped in apunishment time loop where he getskicked in the balls over and over again[ __ ] off show eventually the two loki’sreuniteget to the space lizards and kill thembut they turn out to be puppets and theman pulling the strings is actually acrazy black guy living in a floatingcastle at the end of time and spaceand he explains that he used to be ascientist who discovered all themultiverses and made contact with otherversions of himselfbut eventually they fell out and a waralmost wiped out the universe until herecruited a giant space monster thing toeat all the other timelinesso that his reality was the only oneleft if the other multiverses wereallowed to regrowit would spawn new versions of himselfthat would eventually start the wholewar againthe result is a kind of paradox wherethe loki’s have only two choiceseither kill him and start a multiversalwar that will result in his eventualresurrectionor take over themselves and carry on hiswork either waywell he wins quite the conundrum if i dosay so myselfbut then female loki just says vodka andkills him anyway anoriginal loki ends up in a differentreality so that the show can set up themultiverse of madnesshonestly just when i think the mcu can’tget any dumber or more disrespectful toits own legacyalong comes something like loki tototally subvert my expectationsthis show is an insult not just tomarvel or its characters but to basicstorytellingcommon sense and human intelligence it’sa perfect exampleof what happens when hubris agenda andgreed take priority over storytellinga show made by people who either don’tunderstand or openly hate the veryproperty they’ve inheritedor simply don’t care about anythingexcept using them as a platform forthe message loki himself now talks andacts like a completely different personfalling for obvious deceptions that henever would have beforemaking dumb decisions that are totallyinappropriate to the situation orfailing to come up with any logicalplanscontingencies or counters to anythingthat’s happeningthis version of loki is emotionalshort-sightedimpulsive stupid weak needy and gulliblein short a one smart calculating andformidable character has beenartificially dumbed downin order to make this [ __ ] [ __ ] showpossible i’ve said before that anycharacterno matter how awesome is only ever assmart as the person writing themand well make of that what you will buthey at least he’s bisexual nowas we find out in a blink and you’llmiss it scene that i’m willing to bet99 of the audience didn’t even notice orcare about or perhaps another princea bit of both i suspect the same as youoh my god i was literally shakingnot that any of this particularlymatters anyway because really loki isjust a side character in his own showthe real star of this story is femaleloki better known as sylviea version of him that escaped tvacustody as a childby stamping on an agent’s footsand she’s been on the run most of herlife plotting for a way to take revengethe entire narrative is basicallystructured around this character and herobjectivean original loki is just along for theride sylvie is the one making all themajor decisionswinning all the important battlesfiguring out the most vital clues andgenerally driving the plot forwardwhile original loki just kind ofstumbles along behind her lookingconfusedjesus what a [ __ ] waste of an amazingactor the hallmark of shitty writers istheir inability to elevate their ownmediocre workeither through lack of talentintelligence or creativityso instead they resort to tearing downeveryone else to make themselves lookbetterlike the infinity stones for examplewhich were set up as some of the mostpowerful and destructive objects in theknown universeonly for the tva to use them aspaperweights because that makes the tvalook really cool rightor loki himself who was once a cool andruthless antagonist but now he’s abackground character in his own storyconstantly getting outsmartedoverpowered and humiliated by aselection of strong diverse femalecharactershonestly this [ __ ] is so [ __ ]ridiculous and predictable at this pointthat it barely even qualifies asstorytellingit’s just recycling the same formula andticking the same boxesover and over again constantlybelittling and mocking the work ofprevious writersdoesn’t just bring down theiraccomplishments it diminishes your ownsuch as they are it implies that youdon’t have enough confidence in your ownwork to put it on an equal playing fieldand the only way to win is toretroactively handicap the other playersthe problem is that your audience isn’tas dumb as you they can see exactly whatyou’re doing and they know why you’redoing itthe writing direction and pacing is someof the worst i’ve seen in anymcu product ever the first threeepisodes are basically an endless streamof dull conversations over a tableor dull conversations over lunch or dullconversations overa drink everyone is always talkingtalkingtalking but none of them are sayinganything worth listening toit’s all trite irrelevant repetitivegarbagelike the first episode which isbasically loki talking about hisfeelings and insecurities for 45 minuteseventually admitting that he’s a weakfragile attention seekeroh god make it stop remember whenscripts would show characters actingwith a consistent pattern of behaviorand trust the audience to make up theirown minds about them instead of straightup telling you what their personality ischaracters constantly repeat thingsthey’ve already said reiterate stuff theaudience already knowsand circle back to previous ideas andconversations without adding anythingnewand it all just smacks of lazy bloatedamateurish writing that desperatelyneeds to be tightened upin the hands of talented writers anddirectors this show could easily havebeen wrapped up in three or four tightlyscripted episodesinstead of this tedious repetitive shitechurned out by talentless hacks thatwere happy to stand on the shoulders ofgiants and take a [ __ ] all over them inthe processand what’s funny here is that the showactually tries to grapple with bigmeaty philosophical ideas like thetoppling of dictators leading to adestructive power vacuumor the paradoxical choice between secureservitude and chaotic free willbut because the writers are [ __ ]idiots the show’s unable to offer anymeaningful insights or solutions to anyof this stuffit’s just kill the bad guy and hope forthe best the upshot is that loki isquite simply a wastea waste of time and money a waste oftalented actors and interestingcharacters and a waste of all the yearsof hard work that made this showpossible in the first placethe infinity saga was all about hookingyou in and getting you invested but it’sbecoming pretty obviousthat the honeymoon is over now and so isthe fun that came with itnow the mcu is all about quotas messagesand smashing down everything they builtup kind of like the comic book industrynow that i think aboutit well if that’s the case they’re[ __ ] welcome to it i’m just gonna sitback with a beer and watch it allburn anyway that’s all i’ve got fortodaygo away now
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.